everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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