The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
