My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
