tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize