I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
