Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
did i just pee glitter
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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