At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize