I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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