I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
