were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
