So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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