hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize