with your own penis?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
