sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
