Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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