I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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