she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
