I love black thongs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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