Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
