Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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