i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
