So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
