the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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