I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I touched a dick in church today
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
