worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
