sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
