everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize