i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
