I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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