I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
