Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
