My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
