high people should be assigned attendants
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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