I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im holly from the hills drunk
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
