I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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