Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
