DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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