we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
