How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
