i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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