I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we're making bets on your personal life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
