You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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