so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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