butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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