He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
