i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
