ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
