No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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