found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
