remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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