It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
