I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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