Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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