Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
