The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish you could order shots online.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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