I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
