Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize