It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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