when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
