If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
