Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
