I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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