I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
