Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
