i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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