you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
