his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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