Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
