the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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