HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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